I'm a mama...naturally

Welcome to the November Carnival of Natural Parenting: What is natural parenting?
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our Carnival coincides with the launch of Natural Parents Network, a community of parents and parents-to-be who practice or are interested in attachment parenting and natural family living. Join us at Natural Parents Network to be informed, empowered, and inspired!
Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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Prior to getting pregnant, I had vague ideas of the type of parent I wanted to be in the distant future.  During my pregnancy with Ella I developed some very strong opinions (shocking, I know).  For example, I swore my child would never sleep in bed with us.  It's not that I was planning on becoming a mainstream parent, it's just that I didn't know any different.  It's called mainstream for a reason - it is the style of parenting that is overwhelmingly shown through media in so many different insidious ways.

Then I had Ella, and as I am sure other parents can attest, all my intentions, opinions and preconceived notions of parenting flew out the window.

We had a lovely crib set up in her lovely bedroom.  We had a sweet bassinet next to our bed.  But in the hospital I slept with Ella on my chest, and our first night home I put her into the bassinet for perhaps 2 minutes before scooping our little bean into bed with us.  She stayed in bed with us for eight wonderful months, until it became clear that no one was getting good sleep and Ella (very slowly) transitioned to her own crib (though we still practice responsive nighttime parenting).

Our sleeping arrangement was just the tip of the iceberg.  Once Ella was in the world with us, the only thing that mattered to me was doing what was best for my child and family.  We decided to do what came naturally, even if it wasn't "mainstream."  We had friends with a little one a bit over a year older than Ella who, though they probably don't know it, played a huge role by bolstering our confidence in our parental instincts.  They were patient and kind before Ella was born, giving us little pieces of advice on attachment parenting (though we didn't know it had a name at the time) that we tucked away to draw upon later, bit by bit, as needed. 

As a woman who is used to thinking critically, it was natural for me to bring these same skills to my role as a mother.  We opted to have a medicine-free childbirth and labor at home with family, only going to the hospital for the grand finale, as it were!  We were happy to learn that our bedsharing sleeping arrangement was not only safe, but has been seen as the ideal arrangement throughout many cultures in breastfeeding bedsharing families.  We started reading about vaccines, deciding to be selective about what our girl gets and when, to lessen the impact of the drugs on her immature system.  The more we read, the more we learned that things we were doing naturally and instinctively had distinct benefits for our kiddo...bonus!

But not everything we do is because of some great moral reason...many things we do because they are just plain easy:

- Babywearing?  Easy.  We have a great carrier, an ergo, which is comfortable for both Ella and me - whenever she needs a bit more mama time I can easily strap her on and continue doing what needs to be done, and she gets a bird's eye view and narration of the world around her. 
- Breastfeeding?  Easy (once you get the hang of it).  No bottles to pack or clean, food wherever and whenever she needs, it doesn't get much better than that!
- Baby-led weaning?  Easy too.  She eats what we eat, so no preparing separate foods.  We give her options, she chooses what and how much she eats (which generally is a bit of everything).  She gets a good balance, since as a family we strive to eat a healthy, mostly organic mix.
- Elimination communication?  Surprisingly easy(ish).  It's a big, fancy name for a process that is followed, by necessity, most places in the world.  Following your child's cues as to when they need to go to the bathroom isn't new, diapers are (I know, it can be tough at first to wrap your head around that one.)  For us, EC has meant far fewer dirty diapers to change (our record was a two-month period where I changed no poopy diapers, it was glorious!)
- Cloth diapering?  Easy!!  This did take a bit of a leap of faith, but after some encouragement and sage advice from my good friend Danielle, we took the plunge.  Because of the cloth diapers her room smells better (no more dirty diaper smell, even though her dirty diapers are stored in a dry bucket!), no more trips to buy more diapers, and no more diaper rash...oh, and it's easier on the landfills as well!

Looking down the road, I don't know what's to come, I've given up making any real hard-and-fast opinions about life, it's far too fluid for any set plan.  We have already started thinking about the type of education we want our children to have.  I have plans of volunteering as a family, something that I dearly miss since moving to Chicago.  And with a social worker and attorney for parents, I know there will be no shortage of social and political conversation (and perhaps a rally or two!)  We know the morals and values we wish to instill in our children, and though it is a winding path, I know that we will continue to do what is best for our family, which as it turns out, is parenting naturally.

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Stop by Natural Parents Network today to see excerpts from everyone's posts, and please visit a few to read more! Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants. Three of the participants below will instead be featured on Natural Parents Network throughout the month, so check back at NPN!
This list will be updated by afternoon November 9 with all the carnival links. We've arranged it this month according to the categories of our NPN resource pages on "What Is Natural Parenting?"

Attachment/Responsive Parenting

Attachment/responsive parenting is generally considered to include the following (descriptions/lists are not exhaustive; please follow each link to learn more):

1. PREPARE FOR PREGNANCY, BIRTH, AND PARENTING:
   
   • "Preparing for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting" — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes knows better now how to prepare for her second baby, focusing on attachment rather than nursery curtains. Watch for her post, which will be featured on Natural Parents Network on Tuesday, November 23. (@sheryljesin)
   • "Begin at the Beginning" — Alison at BluebirdMama examines the first type of natural parenting she experienced: birthing at home. (@BluebirdMama)
2. FEED WITH LOVE AND RESPECT:
   
   • "Going With the {Tandem Milk} Flow" — Despite being told she would never be able to nurse her toddler through pregnancy, Jessika at Job Description: Mommy successfully nursed through her entire pregnancy, and she continues tandem nursing her two little ones fifteen months later! (@JobDescMommy)
   • "Breastfeeding with Love and Respect" — Resisting the pressure to give up, breastfeeding was the way Dionna at NursingFreedom.org persisted in nourishing her son. (@NursingFreedom)
   • "Why Should I Call It Extended?" — Amy at Toddler In Tow provides scientifically based research to support child-led weaning.
3. RESPOND WITH SENSITIVITY:
   
   • "Attachment Parenting Chose Us" — For a child who is born "sensitive," attachment parenting is more a way of life than a parenting "choice." Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares her experiences. (@CodeNameMama)
   • "Parenting in the Present" — Acacia at Be Present Mama parents naturally by being fully present.
   • "Parenting With Heart" — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment parents naturally because healthy attachments early in life help our little ones grow into healthy, functioning adults.
4. USE NURTURING TOUCH:
   
   • "Nurturing through touch" — Lauren at Hobo Mama finds that loving touch is a thread that runs through all her natural parenting practices. (@Hobo_Mama)
5. ENSURE SAFE SLEEP:
   
   • "Sometimes I Wish We Coslept" — Sheila at A Gift Universe has started to add cosleeping into her sleep routines and has found frequently unspoken benefits. Watch for her post, which will be featured on Natural Parents Network on Tuesday, November 30. (@agiftuniverse)
6. PROVIDE CONSISTENT AND LOVING CARE:
   
   • "Attachment Parenting . . . and Nanny Makes Three?" — When Jen at Grow with Graces first started interviewing nannies, she was looking for practicalities. After a few months with her first nanny, she's going to hire someone new, and this time, she'll make sure the nanny believes in AP principles. (@growwithgraces)
   • "Do You Have This?" — For Rachael at The Variegated Life, natural parenting is about love and giving, rather than the alienation and longing present in so many in our Western culture. (@RachaelNevins)
   • "What Natural Parenting Looks Like in Our Family" — Sybil at Musings of a Milk Maker shares what natural parenting is like as your little ones grow up.
7. PRACTICE GENTLE/POSITIVE DISCIPLINE:
   
   • "Unconditional Parenting" — The philosophy of Alfie Kohn resonates with Erin at Multiple Musings, who does not want to parent (or teach) using rewards and punishment. (@ErinLittle)
8. STRIVE FOR BALANCE IN PERSONAL AND FAMILY LIFE:
   
   • "Reducing Screen Time" — How does Mrs. H. at Fleeting Moments meaningfully connect with her kids every day? She turns off the TV.
   • Also see our October Carnival all about finding balance!

Ecological Responsibility and Love of Nature

• "Healing Through Elimination Communication Part 1" — Amy at Innate Parenting explains how practicing elimination communication has helped her whole family gain awareness and healing in many areas of their lives. (@InnateWholeness)
• "Growing Out of Little Potties" — Stacy at Mama-Om is proud to be the "weird lady" who practices elimination communication with her babies. (@mama_om)
• "Let's Talk Diapers" — Lindsey at Mama Cum Laude started using cloth diapers because she felt they were a safer choice for her child; she stuck with them because they are convenient.

Holistic Health Practices

• "Supporting Natural Immunity" — If you have decided against the traditional vaccination schedule, Starr at Earth Mama has some helpful tips for strengthening your children's immune systems naturally.

Natural Learning

• "Acceptance as a Key to Natural Parenting" — Because Mrs. Green at Little Green Blog values accepting and responding to her daughter's needs, she was able to unravel the mystery of her daughter's learning "challenges." (@myzerowaste)
• "Let Them Look" — Betsy at Honest 2 Betsy makes time to look at, to touch, and to drool on the pinecones.
• "Why I Love Unschooling" — Unschooling isn't just about learning for Darcel at The Mahogany Way — it is a way of life. (@MahoganyWayMama)
• "Is He Already Behind?"Ever worry that your baby or toddler is behind the curve? Danielle at born.in.japan will reassure you about the many ways your little one is learning — naturally — every day. Watch for her post, which will be featured on Natural Parents Network on Tuesday, November 16. (@borninjp)
• "How to Help Your Child through Natural Learning" — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now offers tips on how to understand and nurture your child's natural learning style. (@DebChitwood)

Healthy Living

• "What 'Healthy Eating' Means to Me" — Wonder how a family of five makes healthy eating a priority? Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings shares some common sense tips. (@sunfrog)
• "What is Natural Parenting? Embracing Real Food" — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! has always wanted to give her children the most nutritious foods possible: first through breastfeeding, and later through healthy, whole foods. (@bfmom)

Parenting Philosophies

• "Natural Parenting — Lazy Parenting" — To Olivia at Write About Birth, natural parenting isn't about a fixed set of ideals, but about what is instinctual. (@writeaboutbirth)
• "I'm not the most crunchy, but I'm still au naturel" — Jessica at This is Worthwhile follows her gut and parents with respect, and that's what feels natural to her. (@tisworthwhile)
• "Because Natural comes Naturally" — Breastfeeding, babywearing, cosleeping — Bess at mommakesmilk does these things because they feel right. (@MumtoEve)
• "What Do You Mean 'Natural Parenting'?" — Luschka at Diary of a First Child fell into natural parenting by listening to her baby and her own instincts. (@lvano)
• "One Little Change at a Time" — Ashley at Domestic Chaos made one small change at a time until "natural parenting" wasn't a punchline, but a way of life. (@ashleympoland)
• "WHY Attachment Parenting?" — While they might take some work to put into practice, Momma Jorje at A Slightly Crunchy Momma finds that all of the tenets of attachment parenting fit her family.
• "Yours, Respectfully" — For Kellie at Our Mindful Life, natural parenting is about being respectful: to yourself, your children, and your surroundings.
• "The Natural Parenting Label" — Michelle at The Parent Vortex explains that natural parenting is a mindset, not a set of specific choices or a few fancy acronyms. (@TheParentVortex)
• "When Our Children Are Grown" — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children parents naturally, because she is building a firm foundation for her children.
• "What is Natural Parenting to a Witch Mom?" — Lily at Witch Mom has planned out what she wants for her son, from health to socialization to interactions with the natural world. (@lilyshahar)
• "Attachment Parenting and Our Family" — Semi-crunchy Mama at Adventures in Mommyhood takes us through the way the Baby Bs have transformed their family of four. (@crunchymamato2)
• "I'm a Mama...Naturally" — Andrea!!! at Ella-Bean & Co. didn't intend to parent naturally, but it happened by instinct.

Political and Social Activism

• "A Private Matter" — Amy at Anktangle, who is a Registered Nurse, describes her encounters with circumcision in a medical environment and why they guided her decision to leave her own baby boy intact. (@anktangle)
• "Natural Parenting, Following Our Instincts, and Keeping Our Son Intact" — Kelly at KellyNaturally went against the tide and refused to circumcise her son. (@kellynaturally)
• "Relying on Kindness" — Sure, Navelgazing Bajan at Navelgazing wants her son to be kind — but kindness is not enough. (@BlkWmnDoBF)